I took a wander downtown Thursday afternoon, in the middle of a very productive writing day. I came home to find an email waiting for me from my right-hand-man at the bookstore: a Random House shipment had just arrived, a huge stack of boxes stickered with "On Sale August 8, 2006". A huge stack of boxes marked "Before I Wake". By coincidence, I had come home to also find one of those very same boxes on my front step, with my agent's address on the label.
My author copies.
My hands were shaking as I carefully cut open the box, as I pulled the flaps open.
I want to write that there was blinding white light that poured forth, that I gazed upon those books and felt a sense of completion, of fulfillment, of… I don't know, finally finding my place in the universe. I want to write that I had an epiphany, that everything suddenly made sense.
In fact, I felt completely overwhelmed. And more than a little freaked-out. I took a book out and held it. Flipped through it a little. It's beautiful, with good paper and good binding and a great jacket and a great design. I noticed that my hands were still shaking. I put the book back in the box, looked at the jackets facing me, then closed the box back up.
And I haven't opened it again. The box is sitting behind me, in the corner by the cd shelf, next to a stack of old videotapes.
I don't think I'm ready yet. I don't think I'm in a mental place to take the step from becoming to being. Not quite yet. It's going to happen. It's going to happen soon.
* One thing to note: I tend to title my blog postings with a line from whatever song I happen to be listening to at the time I'm writing. Which results in some strange, strange titles. And, occasionally, entirely appropriate ones. Credit to Blue Rodeo for this morning's little bit of kismet.
"I tend to title my blog postings with a line from whatever song I happen to be listening to at the time I'm writing", you say.
Robert, what music did you listen to while writing the book?
)
(It is a VERY important question
Another thing: what time of a day did you prefer to write (night? early morning? whatever?)